First entry

Posted: June 5, 2012 in Depression
Tags: ,

Feeling 4/10
I seem to withdraw into myself and it is a comfort sign. Not sure why this feels comfortable. Maybe because I’ve been there so often throughout my life.
With depression you’ll be okay and then make decisions which later on compound to give you a dark hole you are in.
Then it takes a long time to rearrange your life to climb out of the hole.
Right now I am 49 years of age. It has taken me decades to understand the shape of these feelings. Right now I am on a antidepressants during the night and I have been prescribed dexamphetamine during the day. Several times in the last seven years I have tried to go off the medication but seem to have experienced depressed feelings or my life will take a turn for the worst and I feel the effects of depression creeping back in.
At a feeling of 5/10 this is nothing compared to the extreme lows I have felt before. However I can now identify the start of the spiral downhill so will watch it like a hawk.

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