A Near Death Experience on Purpose

Posted: March 18, 2013 in Depression
Tags: , , , ,

I’ve been reading what other bloggers have to say about depression. It’s enough to make you depressed.

I must admit, I do believe in looking at your dark side to get a handle on it. To understand the beast. But as my last counselor said, “There comes a time when you can look at the pain for too long.” (It took me 5 counselors to find one that suited me)

So now I have decided to share some notes with you. They are my thoughts from the Intensive Care Unit just after heart surgery. A pretty serious place. Lights are on 24 hours a day. There is a nurse by your bedside non-stop. Her job is to look after and watch you, no one else. You are completely vulnerable and at the mercy of another human being. Coming from a guy who has always tried to avoid depending on others, it’s a new experience.

But an N.D.E. (Near Death Experience) is something completely out of left field for most of us. A brand new perspective. A helicopter to the ceiling of your life for a brief moment.

Oh, one thing I want to share. I was looking forward to the operation as my heart was going to be unplugged for about three hours. Blood transported around my body via a machine. Breathing thanks to a ventilator. So really I was clinically dead.

My big thought was, ” Would I see a light at the end of a tunnel?” “Would I see dead people?” “Would I look down on the operating table and see myself?”

I remember being wheeled into the operating theater a little drowsy, but looking forward to what would happen next.

I closed my eyes. “Here it comes”, I thought.

Then I opened them.

It was the next day.

Nothing.

Oblivion.

Sorry I don’t have something interesting to say. But my experience was zip.

I only have my thoughts as a result of this event. After passing through ICU with 60, 70 and 80 year olds, I wrote some words down to share with friends. Here they are:

This is Sean. 
Thank you all for the support every time my wife has posted a pic …. now you have all seen me in a sexy backless gown. 

The surgeon has said the operation went well … but he wasn’t on the receiving end. He didn’t have his sternum split open and heart operated on. (Did I ask for a photo? Yes. Did he take one? Yes. Classic!)

I have had three rough days and now will be in the cardiac ward at the hospital till Friday. 

Life experiences like this are very effective in that they give you perspective. You very quickly realise what is important and what is not. 
Each time there are likes, I scroll down, read each name and think of each person. 

Remember you touch many people in your life. You may not see some of them often but it doesn’t mean you haven’t made an impact. 

Thank you again to you all but especially to my close friends, Mum, Dad, my kids and to my wife, the rose amongst the thorns. 
The road was smoother because of you.

So it seems having a brush with death is good for you. It puts daily let-downs into perspective. You appreciate everything more. The challenge now is for me to share these insights with those of you who are struggling in the hope that it will provide a much needed safety net.

By sharing it is my way of showing that you are not alone.

(Posts from Cardiac Ward to follow)

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Comments
  1. nu says:

    Following examine a few of the weblog posts on your website currently, and that i enjoy your method of writing a blog. I book-marked it to this bookmark website file and will probably be checking back before long. Pls examine this web page also enabling me determine what you consider.

  2. That is a great tip especially to those new to the blogosphere.
    Brief but very accurate information… Appreciate your
    sharing this one. A must read post!

    • Sean says:

      I don’t really look on myself as a writer or blogger.
      I concentrate on sharing what is going on in my head. Hence I appreciate the effort you have made to comment. Thanks.

  3. David says:

    I can identify with so many of the sentiments expressed in some of your great blogs. Have found myself that, as fore-warned when I had my cardio op the physical recovery is a relative walk in the park whilst the psychological recovery is much more of a challenge.

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