Archive for March, 2014

You Can’t Blame Others

Posted: March 24, 2014 in Dark days, Depression

A friend of mine confided in me recently that he and his wife were separating.
He said that because I have been through it, he valued my opinion.
My advice to him was that all things pass and that he just needed to put one foot in front of the other.
He agreed.
I added that the well-being of his kids was of primary importance.
He agreed.
I started to feel important and that I had all the answers. I told him that in life this was probably the most difficult time and that other things would be easier in the future.
Then he rocked me with his response.

He said, “Mate your wrong, I buried my kid”

Then I remembered that his second child had passed away at a young age.
Any importance I felt suddenly evaporated. I realised that everyone is on a unique journey. A journey that belongs to us and no one else. We can take advice from others. We can learn lessons from the experience of others.
But life’s most important lessons are left up to us to work out.
In the quiet.
Yes the quiet. You see when we spend time in solitude our answers come to us. If all you hear are your problems coming back this means you have not spent enough time by yourself.

Counselling helps.
The advice of friends helps.
Research helps.

After all that…
Quiet solves.