I’m No Different Than You.

Posted: July 11, 2014 in Lessons, Life direction
Tags: , , , , , ,

I’m definitely no better than you.
Only difference is, right now, I’m writing this and you’re reading it.
I could talk to you about life events. Things that I don’t have a monopoly on.

Sporting achievements.
University graduation.
Divorce.
Depression.
A week in a psych ward. Climbing out of depression. World travel.
Open heart surgery. Achievements and mistakes.
I could tell you what I have learnt from these, and I probably will. But at the end of the day, you have your own trauma to navigate and ultimately learn from.
But I will still share what I have learnt.

But first, let’s get some perspective.

What An Experience
I met a young boy last year whose trauma I still think about. This boy was 10 when I met him. I had been given a days work in a school and he was in my class. The deputy principal informed me that this boy had only just returned to school. There was a six month period that he had not uttered a word after he had found his father who had suicided in the family home. This happened to him when he was 8.
Imagine an eight-year-old boy being confronted with that. No wonder he didn’t speak for six months. When I looked at him in the class, he was a quiet 10-year-old boy. Somewhat introspective. As the day wore on, he and I got on very well. He smiled and genuinely looked as though he was enjoying my company. After lunch however, he withdrew. I couldn’t work it out.
At the end of the day, I spoke to the deputy principal about what had happened. He warned me by saying, “Be careful.. He is starting to like you and he withdrew because he feels that everyone he gets close to, goes away”
So just as I think I am qualified to talk about handling trauma, I get embarrassed by this in comparison.

Stuff I Know
My most important lessons were learnt as a result of hardship.
Divorce taught me to commit 100%
Depression enabled me to become friends with the voice in my head. Notice I said “enabled”. Being depressed was the step up I didn’t want but needed.
Sporting failure showed me I could dig deep.
Having open heart surgery showed my priorities were all wrong.

Is That It?
Interesting thing is that at this point, I feel these were my life lessons. The truth is probably that these are my life lessons so far. I am sure there will be more trauma in store for me in the future. Let’s just hope I don’t have to repeat any experiences as I have not learnt the required lesson.
That’s what life does.
It serves up the same experience until you get the lesson.
Then you move on to the next lesson.

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