Archive for the ‘peace’ Category

Some notes to reflect on:

I cried most nights for about a year.
There were times that I had to wait 5 or 6 days for a counselling appointment and struggled in the meantime.
Trying to work whilst dealing with the trauma of a broken marriage was incredibly hard.
Some nights after I finished work I would say goodbye to the staff, lock the outside door then go into my office and crawl under the desk and lie in the foetal position
I tried to self medicate but it didn’t work.

BUT:

My mum gave me the advice “one day at a time“ and that was exactly how I got through it.
I conducted myself in a way that made me proud in later years.
When my kids grew up they realised I was traumatised by the situation and now respect me for the way I handled myself. I have become a role model for my son.
I make much better decisions now.
My life and current level of happiness is much better than it was prior to the trauma.

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Plunge on my friend.

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As we become settled in our surroundings, we look to change.
My daughter told me today that she never seems to be content with what she is doing, or what she has.
“Situation normal”, I reply.
“That’s no help”, she thinks.

Acceptance is one thing. Becoming comfortable with difficulty, and letting it go, is another.

At 18 years of age she is a great example of what I felt at 18. At 50 I haven’t changed, except I have accepted this is a normal thought process. The trick is to keep striving but be happy with what you have now.

Let’s look at another culture as I am looking through Western eyes.
It seems to me that calmness has been in other cultures for thousands of years.
Buddhists have always reminded themselves that true happiness lies in acceptance of your current situation.
This doesn’t mean you don’t strive for improvement.
It also doesn’t mean pain goes away. It just means the Buddhist accepts.

Japanese martial arts aims for acceptance too. To totally focus on the situation at hand. To deal with a life threatening situation without fear. The Samurai looked to Buddhist philosophies to help them deal with an acceptance of death.
Again from Japan, the Tea Ceremony stipulates careful action, focus on breathing and intense concentration on the current move.
A famous book on Archery was entitled, ” One Breath, One Life”.
The release of the arrow symbolised the life of the target, and the life of the archer.

As Westerners we need to embrace this idea to help us stay grounded, and calm.

Your next step, is … actually … your next step.

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